Limited Editions

I love Limited Edition candy. I like to think that I was way ahead of the whole Dark Chocolate trend because I bought bags and bags of Dark Chocolate M and M’s all the way back to May 2005 with the premiere of Star Wars: Phantom Menace when they were still in their limited edition phase.

But where does it end? When do the candy makers just give up because they’ve invented every combination possible? For example: I’m a huge Skittles fan and have tried every concoction they’ve dished out, but Mars went a little too far with the Carnival flavor.

So when I came across this blog post from Cotton and Sand bemoaning the very same thing, I just had to share their invented images of limited edition candy concepts. Believe me when I say that all you need to do is print out these pictures, pin them up in your cubicle and you’ll curb your desire for a quick energy pick-me-up at 3pm in the afternoon.

It’s all Apples and Oranges for me now:



Chocolate Bubble Wrap


Feast your eyes on Chocolate Bubble Wrap. It does really exist and you can order it from Delessio Market.

As Lil Mama would rap, “I’d be lovin’ it. I’d be…I’d be lovin’ it. ” And then she’d finish up with, “It’s Poppin” OK-I really need to get that Lip Gloss song out of my head.

But seriously-what DON’T they make out of chocolate anymore?

The Root of Evil – Part One

There’s nothing like a dental emergency to really make you appreciate a skilled dentist. In particular, my dentist Dr. John Scanlon of Boylston Dental gives new meaning to the term artisan.I am partial to Dr. Scanlon as I’ve been a patient for a few years and remained one in good standing because I just kept coming back for regularly scheduled cleanings. Mind you, I wasn’t a flosser–but more on that later.

I stopped in for a quick look-see under the hood while on vacation last week because my post/crown was feeling a little loose again and wanted him to verify that it wasn’t just my imagination. Having a tooth (even a fake tooth) slip out of your jaw while eating is an awful sensation. It is not one that you ever want to replicate if you can help it. In fact, this past May found Dr. Scanlon re-applying cement onto my post hoping that this time it would stick in my head just a little longer than last time.

You can see where this tale is going, can’t you? The “talk” was inevitable and I was left with the decision to either have a dental implant or a permanent bridge to help keep my teeth in my head. Both options are fabulously expensive. As my Delta Dental insurance will cover $1000.00 for the bridge and nothing for the implant – the decision was an easy one. Living with my decision was harder because it meant a postponement for my trip to Las Vegas to visit M & M World in November. (Yes, candy is no longer my best friend. I get it.)


Because the problematic tooth still had the root in my jaw (post root-canal), I had to have oral surgery to remove the root. After a month of healing, I would then be fitted for a permanent bridge which would give me super strength and more importantly–durability. I woud be able to chomp a steak or crack a walnut all in one hearty bite without every worrying that my fake tooth would fall out. So Dr. Scanlon sent me off to an oral surgeon last Tuesday for the dreaded extraction with the promise that I wouldn’t feel a thing because I could have anesthesia.

My sister-in-law agreed to be my designated driver and brought me to the oral surgeon’s office promptly for 8:30am. From the moment I passed through reception, I knew that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

Let me tell you about that first room. It completely resembled what I would imagine an alien spaceship would look like if they were to perform cavity checks and probing. The walls were stained a depressing murky mauve and positioned right next to my chair was a two-level stainless steel cart chocked full of very scary looking dental instruments.

After checking in and being processed to the first room, I was prepped for surgery which involved a temperature and blood pressure check. The nurse was impressed with my excellent blood pressure considering I was about to go into surgery. I was thinking to myself, “What do I have to stress out about? I’m being put to sleep.” However, the Cadillac treatment of snoozy fumes wasn’t for me due to a snag with a potential pre-existing medical condition so I was shot full of Novocain instead. Grrreat….

I was then moved to the operating room where I got to meet the oral surgeon for the first time. ( I actually had already gotten a sneak peak of his ugly mug because hanging in the room was this 8×10 mocked-up photograph of him featured on the front cover of one of those fake Golfer magazines that anyone can have made up at Six Flags. I took an instant dislike to him for having the vanity to actually hang that in his operating room thinking somehow that it was clever next to his diploma from some unknown New York dental university alongside his induction into the National Dental Honor Society.)

After the drama of determining he could not actually put me to sleep, I decided to just go for it having the affected area of my jaw shot full of gobs of Novocain. I silently dared the assistant to re-check my blood pressure. C’mon. Go for it. I bet it’s off the charts now!! The Hack told me this extraction would be just like having a cavity filled–NO BIG DEAL. Word of Adviced: Never trust anyone comparing a root extraction to having a cavity filled. If they tell you that then they are lying through their teeth (pun intended).

The Hack hooked his meaty gloved index finger into my mouth like a vet would a dog to examine my temporary bridge. He wasn’t too happy that it was still on and made a fuss about having to remove it. He began tugging and yanking down on the bridge to get it to pop off, but after much groaning and bugged-out eyes he decided it was at this point that maybe he should start thinking about applying Novacain.

Small talk ensued as he was applying the needles. “So what do you do for a living?” I joked back, “Well, I’m an inventory analyst at Staples Corporate. We’re in the middle of Back to School so right now I’m making sure that all the children across America have plenty of staplers and staples for school.” ha ha ha ~ he didn’t even laugh nor did he crack a smile. After my gums were numbed up, he returned to the room to begin the extraction. During the procedure, he actually said to me, “Kim, we’ll get you all set and you’ll be able to get back to your classes tomorrow.”

HUH?

Then it hit me. He wasn’t even paying attention to a thing I said. He just heard ‘Back to School’ and assumed I was a student. Unbelievable. I hate it when people don’t pay attention to their own small talk.

The sensation of having The Hack remove my tooth’s root is indescribable, but I will try to tell you nonetheless. First, it was awful. During the times when he had to use his hammer and chisel tools, I just wanted to leap up from the chair. My face felt like a boulder that was being honed into the sculpture of a dead president. Tap, Tap, Crunch!! It didn’t necessarily hurt, but the sensation of feeling a creaking in your head as the root is yanked away from the jaw bone is torture at its best. I should have been in snoozy land. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t feeling any immediate pain. In retrospect, pain would have been preferable because at least I could match the inner sensation of creaking in my jaw bone to an actual result.

When it was all over, the hack stitched up my gums with dissolvable sutures and proceeded to try to put the temporary bridge back on over his handy-dandy work. He warned me that the cement he was using was ‘archaic’ and that I might have to go back to my dentist if the bridge came undone. He re-attached it and gave me thick wads of gauze to bite down hard on to let the cement harden. As I did so, I heard this cracking sound. Being an expert on cracking sounds, I alerted him that I thought my bridge had broken. Annoyed, he fish-hooked his thumb back under my tender partially swollen cheek and proceeded to tell me it was nothing-merely the cement settling around my teeth. He didn’t even shine his light on me.

I was given a prescription for Vicodin and instructions to use a cold pack on my cheek every 30 minutes to help with the swelling. He once again commented about how I’d be back to class in no time and hastily left the operating room calling out that if I had any questions not to hesitate to call Dr. Scanlon. Nice. Don’t call me; call your dentist because after all I only tore open your mouth.

I returned home filled with 4-hour intervals of Vicodin and severe soreness. Later in the day, I tentatively ran my tongue up and around his dirty work only to discover that all the stitches were sticking out all over my gum line. I found a little flashlight and opened my mouth as wide as I could stand it to see just how bad it all looked up there.

I thought it looked pretty good all things considered. But what did I know? Regretfully, there was still more fun to come.

Trouble with the Sweet Stuff

I was having a pretty rotten day yesterday at work. As I was standing outside the cube of one of my co-workers, I noticed this framed print up against the wall outside one of the manager’s offices. I’ve seen the print there before, but never really gave it much consideration. But for whatever reason, I happened to give it more than a passing glance this time and much to my astonishment, I discovered the print was actually of a collage of candy wrappers!I love candy. I love learning about the history of candy, following candy trends and most importantly–eating candy. Thank God I am not diabetic…yet. So to find a picture of a collage of candy wrappers is a big deal to me.

Turns out it must have been hanging in the former supply manager’s office and when he moved to another part of the building he chose not to take it with him. People do stuff like that all the time. They put out samples of office products or cast-off goodies on these communal department banquet tables and pretty much everyone around the area dives into the offerings like buzzards on road-kill and all the free stuff is gone in like five minutes.

This poor little print apparently had been sitting there collecting dust for months and Heather told me to just take it. “Are you sure?” I asked tentatively while secretly hoping it was MINE, MINE, MINE!

So I took it. I casually walked back to my own cube and examined it a bit closer. There was a little story about the print taped to the back of the frame basically explaining that this pop artist named Michael Albert created the collage from candy wrappers he collected in 2002 from various corner stores, supermarkets, video stores and pharmacies. But cooler than that is that all the wrappers are arranged alphabetically from A to Z in the collage. Can you imagine?

I managed to get the print into my car without corporate security grabbing me and now this amazing print is hanging in my kitchen. It’s now one of my prized possessions-like if my house caught on fire this is one of the things I would save from the ashes. It’s just that cool.

I did lots of research online to see if I could find out more about the artist. I had to dig a little bit, but it was worth it. He is an amazing talent and I’ve decided that I have officially adopted him as my favorite ARTIST of cubist pop-art. I emailed him asking if I could buy a print of his Cap’n Crunch artwork last night and he actually wrote back the next day. He wonders how I’ve heard about him? I’m afraid to email back because I’m in a gushing mode right now and really need to calm myself down.

It just goes to prove that you can be having an awfully bad day at work and still something good can come out of it. My friend Ginny listened to my long-winded explanation how I scored such an amazing print and she said what happened to me reminded her about a great quote from the movie Rat Race (2001) spoken by the character of Nick Schaffer:

My grandfather used to say that good things take time, but great things happen all at once.

He’s got that right!

Stinky Candy Delights Me

Spencer and I were doing a little shopping at our local Target. As we were in the checkout line, he mentioned in an off-handed sort of way, “Oh look, liquorice Altoids.” I didn’t pay any attention because he’s always making up funny stuff to tease me when we’re out and about. For example, we could be in the Domestics section of a store and he’d tell me they had a Marky Mark beach towel because he knows I’d FREAK OUT!

But he said it again so I looked to where he was pointing and nearly lost my hand lunging over the moving conveyor belt to get my hands on the tins. Good thing I wasn’t wearing any bracelets. He really was serious. OH MY GOD. (OK, let me type that again.) OH MY GOOD GOD! I was so excited. I love liquorice! Anyone that knows me could answer that question instantly if asked what is my favorite candy. You’d get 50 bonus points and everything. Honestly.

So I bought a few tins. Just a few. But at $1.79 it was worth it. I mean, you could smell the quality and know that these were not going to disappoint because the fragrance just permeated from the shrink wrap. That’s just how ‘curiously strong’ the smell was.

I had to keep it under control as we were packing our bags into the trunk and heading home. I wanted to just rip into the tin and try one. But I practiced self control and didn’t do it until I got home. But once I put one of those snowy little tabs on my tongue…talk about orgasmic! My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I hummed “Mmmmmmmmmm” I wafted the nasty smell for about an hour later, but who cares? I was in the privacy of my own home and Spencer is used to my craziness by now. I love these Altoids!!

So you’ve got to try them and let me know what you think. Promise?