Apologies to Jeff Foxsworthy, but here goes:
If you’re buying a pregnancy test while in the check out line at the Dollar Tree store, then you might be a redneck.
I’ve actually seen these pregnancy tests and wondered how accurate they could be? False Positive? I think so. But really…do the results of a $1.00 pregnancy test even matter if you’re buying it at The Dollar Tree store? Seriously. Don’t buy such an important life-changing boxed test just because it’s at eye-level next to the AA batteries in the check out line.
I used to take my mom to the Dollar Tree store at least twice a month. It was where she got the most bang for her buck. She loved walking down the aisles and seeing all the stuff she could buy for only a dollar because the price point on nearly everything fell within the range of her monthly fixed income of $60.00. She bought knickknacks and bags of house branded snacks. I kept myself occupied during these excursions by hanging out in the candy aisle scoping out limited edition Skittles and Dark Chocolate bars that didn’t sell so well when they were originally introduced for mass market consumption.
The Dollar Tree store was where I found cute little “First Place, Second Place and Honorable Mention” ribbons to give to my co-workers this past Christmas for recognition of their creative quotes throughout the year.
The Dollar Tree also has a great paper goods section and I loved getting lost looking for really unique gift bags and funny greeting cards that were passed over years ago from American Greetings. The sentiments remained the same.
Since my mother passed away, going into the Dollar Tree store feels really taboo to me. I have gone into the Dollar Tree a few times and I swear I can feel the ghost of my mother. She haunts me in the aisles calling out my name and I smile sadly to myself when I see all the ugly little trinkets that she loved so much cluttering up the shelves of seasonal displays. Quite simply, I shouldn’t be shopping at The Dollar Tree anymore.
And I’m pretty sure that if I suspect I might be pregnant, I’m splurging and buying the pregnancy from the local drugstore. They just better have the CVS brand in stock or I’m off looking for fuzzy bunnies.