Spencer and I went out yesterday to visit the Toadstool Book store in Milford, New Hampshire. Adjacent to the bookseller was a Dollar Tree dollar store. We went in just to browse the aisles to see if they had anything interesting and I found myself cautiously walking down their candy aisle.
I love trolling any dollar store’s candy section because I’m almost guaranteed to find some recent ‘limited edition’ confection that didn’t quite make it. It’s where I’ve found Sugar Mamas and Junior Fruit Cremes. Yesterday was no exception.
I was doing totally fine walking down the aisle and taking it all in until I found a bin with about seven bags of Chuckles Ju Jubes candy. I picked up the package and squeezed the small jelly candies. They felt pretty fresh and not at all stale as you would expect buying candy in a dollar store. I turned the yellow bag over and glanced at the calories and serving size.
I found myself having one of those inward dialogues which can only be described as a pint-size portly devil on my right shoulder enticing me with “Buy it! Do you know how rare a find this is? You’ve been searching for months in Walgreens and CVS just to buy one bag. Buy it! Buy all seven bags.” Then I heard the healthy angel on my left shoulder calmly saying “Now Kim, you’re doing so well on your Jenny Craig diet. You can’t blow it on eating candy. This is a big reason why you’re paying a fortune to lose all that weight.” The little red devil pressed on saying: “Just buy the candy and figure out how much you can have on your plan and put the rest away deep in a drawer somewhere for later.”
I am happy to say that I didn’t buy the seven bags of Chuckles. I wanted to so very badly. I continued walking down the aisle thinking about how good the licorice-flavored jujubes would taste. I imagined the sugary delicious paste that three of them would make in my mouth and took a deep breath. I ended up buying a greeting card and a four pack of Certs and got the hell out of there.
Honestly, I’m quite shocked that I didn’t buy even one bag of candy. Instead, I pushed past the temptation and made the healthy choice not to derail my weight loss plan. When I meet with my counselor this upcoming Tuesday she’ll ask me how the past week turned out. I’ll proudly tell her how I resisted buying seven bags of Chuckles and I’m sure she’ll praise me for making a good food choice. But no one except myself knows how difficult it was to walk out of that store without buying the Chuckles Ju Jubes.
After leaving the Dollar Tree, we walked over to Shaw’s supermarket because I wanted to buy a few packages of salad and more bananas. I found myself walking through the aisles looking at all the food that I can’t have for probably another year and strangely it was so much easier than being in the Dollar Tree with the temptation to buy a stupid bag of $1 candy. I passed large fragrant muffins in the bakery section and effortlessly walked past the snack aisle not even thinking about the Cheetos and the Doritos and the boxes of microwave buttered popcorn. Instead I made my way to the dairy aisle and looked at containers of low-fat yogurt and cottage cheese and bought a few cups for the upcoming week’s lunch.
I know to some it may seem like a really small thing, but the choice of not buying those Chuckles Ju Jubes was a big accomplishment for me. Just being able to walk away and not be resentful that I couldn’t have something I clearly wanted in lieu of losing all this weight made me feel powerful and purposefully motivated to continue to work towards being healthier on the Jenny Craig program.
Choosing not to buy Chuckles Ju Jubes is clearly a step in the right direction for me. It means that someday I won’t have to shop in a Plus Size section of a favorite clothing store. More importantly, one day I’ll be able to find another bag of Chuckles Ju Jubes and be satisfied eating the recommended serving size and not the entire bag.
Right now it’s very important for me to know that there will always be candy out there to tempt me. It’s more important to understand that to have some later will truly be worth the wait.