Is it just me or has the word “Exclusive” somehow lost it’s meaning for People Magazine?
In the recent May 14th edition of People Magazine, you’ve got the ever-present Rachel Ray taking up about 75% of the cover. (So what else is new? What hasn’t this woman conquered? Don’t get me started on her Dunkin’ Donuts commercial. ) But to the right, there are three other pictures with captions that are supposed to entice potential readers to either buy the magazine while standing in a checkout line or at least select it amongst all the other magazine subscriptions tossed on the table in the waiting room of your gynecologist’s office.
I take no issues with the first two photographs. I can see the masses being interested in who might be diddling the newly-single over forty hottie Heather Locklear and our unimaginable fascination with the offspring of Princess Diana–but showing SHREK blaring the words, “Shrek’s A Dad! Exclusive Photos.” Come On! This is a joke, right?
Has nothing happened this past week that trumps showing a cartoon’s babies? What about Extreme Home Makeover’s beloved Ty Pennington getting busted for DUI? He even gave a perfect soundbite to Extra! that could have been placed nicely under his goofy grin: “I made an error in judgment.” At least he was only driving a car while drunk! Imagine if he was using power-tools?
I have never held a subscription to People Magazine because it’s too expensive. I usually just borrow my copy from the local library and thumb through the interesting stuff within ten minutes. I know the magazine is filled with fluff, but I still like reading it because they have great celebrity photos and the articles are oftentimes topical mixing in celebrity news with touching stories about people who have overcome great obstacles. In reading about their triumphs, I strangely feel good about myself and all of man-kind.
But I simply cannot digest their proclamation that they got an Exclusive on Shrek’s baby photographs. Even the talented Johhny Depp can poke fun at over-the-top movie marketing campaigns in the most recent issue of Entertainment Weekly: “I drew the line at hygiene products like Captain Jack toothpaste. It just seemed wrong.” At least he gets it.
Imagine being reporter Jason Lynch at People Magazine. Sure it’s cool to say you’re a staff member for one of the most recognizable magazines in the world, but do you think if he were at a swanky cocktail party he’d admit to having landed the exclusive photographs of the Shrek babies?
Then again, what do I know? I’m just a blogger writing about how pathetic People Magazine is right now. Jason Lynch is still doing far better than me. After all, he got to meet Shrek and Fiona.