Limited Editions June 12, 2007

I love Limited Edition candy. I like to think that I was way ahead of the whole Dark Chocolate trend because I bought bags and bags of Dark Chocolate M and M’s all the way back to May 2005 with the premiere of Star Wars: Phantom Menace when they were still in their limited edition phase.

But where does it end? When do the candy makers just give up because they’ve invented every combination possible? For example: I’m a huge Skittles fan and have tried every concoction they’ve dished out, but Mars went a little too far with the Carnival flavor.

So when I came across this blog post from Cotton and Sand bemoaning the very same thing, I just had to share their invented images of limited edition candy concepts. Believe me when I say that all you need to do is print out these pictures, pin them up in your cubicle and you’ll curb your desire for a quick energy pick-me-up at 3pm in the afternoon.

It’s all Apples and Oranges for me now:

Exclusive! People Magazine has Jumped the Shark! May 12, 2007

Is it just me or has the word “Exclusive” somehow lost it’s meaning for People Magazine?

In the recent May 14th edition of People Magazine, you’ve got the ever-present Rachel Ray taking up about 75% of the cover. (So what else is new? What hasn’t this woman conquered? Don’t get me started on her Dunkin’ Donuts commercial. ) But to the right, there are three other pictures with captions that are supposed to entice potential readers to either buy the magazine while standing in a checkout line or at least select it amongst all the other magazine subscriptions tossed on the table in the waiting room of your gynecologist’s office.

I take no issues with the first two photographs. I can see the masses being interested in who might be diddling the newly-single over forty hottie Heather Locklear and our unimaginable fascination with the offspring of Princess Diana–but showing SHREK blaring the words, “Shrek’s A Dad! Exclusive Photos.” Come On! This is a joke, right?

Has nothing happened this past week that trumps showing a cartoon’s babies? What about Extreme Home Makeover’s beloved Ty Pennington getting busted for DUI? He even gave a perfect soundbite to Extra! that could have been placed nicely under his goofy grin: “I made an error in judgment.” At least he was only driving a car while drunk! Imagine if he was using power-tools?

I have never held a subscription to People Magazine because it’s too expensive. I usually just borrow my copy from the local library and thumb through the interesting stuff within ten minutes. I know the magazine is filled with fluff, but I still like reading it because they have great celebrity photos and the articles are oftentimes topical mixing in celebrity news with touching stories about people who have overcome great obstacles. In reading about their triumphs, I strangely feel good about myself and all of man-kind.

But I simply cannot digest their proclamation that they got an Exclusive on Shrek’s baby photographs. Even the talented Johhny Depp can poke fun at over-the-top movie marketing campaigns in the most recent issue of Entertainment Weekly: “I drew the line at hygiene products like Captain Jack toothpaste. It just seemed wrong.” At least he gets it.

Imagine being reporter Jason Lynch at People Magazine. Sure it’s cool to say you’re a staff member for one of the most recognizable magazines in the world, but do you think if he were at a swanky cocktail party he’d admit to having landed the exclusive photographs of the Shrek babies?

Then again, what do I know? I’m just a blogger writing about how pathetic People Magazine is right now. Jason Lynch is still doing far better than me. After all, he got to meet Shrek and Fiona.

The Family Stone April 16, 2007

I didn’t know much about this movie other than Sarah-Jessica Parker was playing an uptight chick presumably from New York who visits her soon-to-be fiance’s family in New England to celebrate Christmas.

I didn’t know that the working title for this movie was called, ‘Fucking Hate Her’. Now wouldn’t that have been the perfect title for this movie given the movie poster featured here?

Some friends had seen this movie when it came out during Christmas 2005, but I never made the effort because it was really panned. But I must have added it to my Netflix Que during one of my phases of loving a particularly good-looking actor because this movie featured Dermot Mulroney. He always looks yummy in black turtle neck sweaters, doesn’t he?

The thing I loved about this movie was how the characters were so real and well-defined. If I recall, the movie previews really ramped up the kookiness of Diane Keaton’s matriarch mother and Luke Wilson’s portrayal of the stoner brother.

Rent this movie now. It doesn’t matter that we’re in early Spring and it’s months away from Christmas. You’ll see characters develop and things happen within the family that you would have never expected–especially the uptight girlfriend. When she’s in full crisis mode it’s a thing of beauty.

This is one movie that will be added to the list of movies I must watch every Christmas. It made me feel hopeful that families can go one in spite of losses and that finding love in unexpected places is always right around the corner for each and every one of us.

Charter Weekend April 16, 2007

Saturday found me waiting for the cable guy for an 8-12pm time slot. I had numerous problems with my Charter digital cable, but here are some of the highlights:

• Showtime Channel 500 wouldn’t work on the living room set, but would work in the bedroom.
• Select a pre-recorded show on the DVR and the screen would go blank. If I reset the DVR, only then would it work.
• Turn on the Charter Digital Cable and sometimes the sound wouldn’t work so I’d have to crank my Bose Cinemate system to it’s limits to hear the sound. Again, I had to reset the DVR to get the sound to come back on.
• Favorite channels such as Comedy Central, E! and MTV were all fuzzy.

A young man showed up around 10:30am to work on all these issues. Problem was he was so creepy that I only chose to focus on two major problems–fuzzy reception and no Showtime. He was creepy because he was so damn quiet. No personality. Answered in one word replies and didn’t make eye contact. It was simply disconcerting to have him in the house. I think Minnie my little fat Beagle was kinda creeped out too because she just went into the bedroom to lay down. If he was normal, she would have stayed on the couch and watched him with interest.

After spending a good amount of time running new lines, I’m happy to report the cable is working excellent. The major cause of all my problems was water got into the cable lines that were running along the roof. Since he wasn’t authorized to go climbing on rooftops, he got creative and linked up some new connections through existing wires.

Sunday was a bust. I surprisingly discovered that since March 20th all email being sent to kimperry@charter.net was not getting forwarded to my Gmail account. There were so many signs that something was wrong, but I never really put two and two together. I paid the price, too. Today I spent all day reading 1, 044 emails sent to my Charter email address.

I think somehow what happened is my forwarding setting on the Charter account got wiped out and all my email just started being stored on the Charter server. I have many, many email addresses. But nothing compares to Gmail. I love their search feature, the amount of storage available, the star feature and especially the ability to label emails for easy retrieval later.

It took me all day today to sort through over one thousand emails. Fortunately I didn’t miss much in the past month except lots of information related to the stuff I track. But since I also have many of these newsletters sent to my Gmail address, what was missing was deceptive because I didn’t realize it was missing. (Thank God I have auto-payments set up on all my bills, huh?)

A bit of advice. If someone says they sent you an email and you lazily say, “Huh? I never got it.” Don’t assume they are the one’s who didn’t send it or somehow they screwed up. You just might be surprised to discover the problem was you.

Serendipity April 5, 2006

I think you could think of serendipity as “…the art of finding something while looking for something else.” I had one of those moments today and it simply blew my mind.

Today at work we got to talking about gameshows. It first started out with The 10,000 Dollar Pyramid and moved on to the death of a recent gameshow host Peter Tomarken from Press Your Luck. This gameshow was like Wheel of Fortune because contestants moved around a lighted square board trying to win cash, prizes and gifts while avoiding a cartoon character known as The Whammy who could take all their winnings.

I was half paying attention until I heard Andrew speak up that his high school buddy was the person who animated The Whammy. He went on to say that this friend was now doing children’s shows, but used to write/direct movies back in the 80′s. He must have said something specific that clicked in my head because all of a sudden I jumped up and nearly shouted, “Savage Steve Holland??” Indeed, Andrew was good friends back in the day with one of my favorite writer/directors of all time. I couldn’t believe it. I was dumb-struck and nearly speechless.

I think I just kept saying over and over again, “You’ve got to be kidding me? You’re serious? I can’t believe this! ” I’m not ashamed to say that I’ve actually done research on Savage Steve Holland and posted to various message boards asking whatever happened to him because it seemed like he just disappeared in the mid 80′s. He was the twisted version of John Hughes for me. You’re probably wondering who the heck he is, right?

Savage Steve Holland wrote/directed two of my favorite 80′s movies: Better Off Dead (1985) and One Crazy Summer (1986) starring John Cusack.

Better Off Dead is one of those classic teen angst comedies about a depressed teen who loses his girlfriend Beth to a hotshot skier and tries to win her back while dealing with his crazy family. But I think one of the most memorable characters in the movie is the persistent paperboy Johnny who chases after Lane Myer throughout the movie trying in vain to collect his two dollars. Here’s a classic example of verbal sparring:

Lane: Sorry Johnny, I don’t have a dime.
Johnny: Didn’t ask for a dime. Two dollars.
Lane: My little brother got his arm stuck in the microwave. So my mom had to take him to the hospital. My grandma dropped acid this morning, and she freaked out. She hijacked a busload of penguins. So it’s sort of a family crisis. Bye!

It’s one of my all-time favorite movies. My husband and I have watched it countless times and I was so pleased when it was finally released on DVD.

So to randomly hear from Andrew that he was good friends with Steve Holland was just about too much to absorb today. He drove the shock home even further by telling me about the time he broke his leg and how Steve drew pictures on his cast. (A sick part of me was wondering if he still had the cast, but of course he didn’t!)

Now here is the freaky part. Later on in the day Terry (another woman that I work with) was having her computer serviced and the technician’s cell phone rang. But it wasn’t an ordinary jingle. The ringtone was a few sentences of a man talking and when she asked about the unique ringtone, the technician told her it was a film quote from one of his favorite movies (wait for it)…Better Off Dead!

By days end, Terry and I were still marveling at what a coincidence it was that the technician had that specific ringtone. We got to talking about movies again and she told me that in Texas it’s so hot that people will just go to movies to get out of the heat and into the A/C so there’s little movies that she’s ever walked out of. She did however tell me of two movies that she did leave midway through.

One of them was Xanadu! Yea, that was it for me. Anyone that knows me really well knows of my love for this roller-disco treasure.

I had all the coincidences of the day that I could handle. I packed my bags and went home.

It was simply too much.

Neapolitan Dynamite February 24, 2006

Opened up my email today and received word from my sister-in-law Katie that Ben & Jerry’s just announced a new flavor in honor of one of my favorite movies of all time-Napoleon Dynamite. Dare I pump my fist in the air and exclaim with great enthusiasm, “SWEET!”

If you’re wondering what they mixed together it’s Cherry Garcia with Chocolate Fudge Brownie. But seriously–who cares what it is? It’s freakin’ Napoleon Dynamite ice cream.

But wait–there’s more new flavors to rave about and you all know how excited I get over new stuff.

They also have Vermonty Python (coffee liqueur ice cream with a chocolate cookie crumb swirl and fudge cows) and Turtle Soup (vanilla ice cream with fudge & caramel cashews with a caramel swirl).

Both Katie and I previously signed up for Chunk Mail from Ben & Jerry’s which is basically a monthly newsletter that gives you advance notice that new flavors are coming. You might as well give up on the diet because there’s no way any ice cream lover can resist their inventive genius. Click Here if you’d like to sign up. Oh! They send you a coupon for a free pint of ice cream, too. Can you say crack addict or is it just guerilla marketing?

So that’s my excitement for the day. I’ll be roaming the frozen food section looking for my fix.

Just Washed Up on the Shore at the Lighthouse… January 6, 2006

Kim’s very first Movie Reviewvie was released on Swim for the Lighthouse today…just a few minutes ago, as a matter of fact. To save you from going to that hideous blog that you are desperately trying to avoid, you can simply click on the links below to listen:

Movie Reviewvie by Kim Marie Perry: House of D (Part One)

Movie Reviewvie by Kim Marie Perry: House of D (Part Two)

You don’t have to download anything with these links. A Flash player will open and begin playing for you. Dig that trip, baby!

P.S. You just can’t shut me up during this Reviewvie–especially during Part Two. I promise to let Kim get a word in edgewise on her own show next time around. ~Spence

Smokey and the Bandit July 20, 2005

My interest in wanting to see Smokey and the Bandit again all started from a family ride back from The Cheesecake Factory last Saturday. My father-in-law George was riding shotgun and popped in a cassette tape he had lying around in the console of the car to add some music to our ride home down Route 9.Suddenly a very familiar song started playing and we all started talking about how that song defined the movie Smokey and the Bandit. I said, “Oh, I should rent that movie from Netlfix. I LOVED that movie when it came out.”

Here are a few bars of the classic Jerry Reed song Eastbound and Down just to set the mood so hold on tight because this is going to be a long Blog.

East bound and down, loaded up and truckin’,

We’re gonna do what they say can’t be done.

We’ve got a long way to go and a short time to get there.

I’m east bound, just watch ol’ “Bandit” run.

Keep your foot hard on the pedal. Son, never mind them brakes.

Let it all hang out ’cause we got a run to make.

The boys are thirsty in Atlanta and there’s beer in Texarcana.

And we’ll bring it back no matter what it takes.

Probably the reason why I’m so passionate about this movie after watching it a second time nearly 28 years later is because my dad made his living by driving a 18-wheeler. He was a long-haul trucker and proud of it. He hauled Puma sneakers, delivered frozen fish up and down the East Coast to a popular Fish & Chips fast-food chain called Arthur Treachers and delivered Moosehead Beer.

In fact, he was even what some might consider a scab during a big trucker’s union strike in the early 80’s because no one wanted to take any chances driving on the interstate. It wasn’t uncommon to hear stories about drivers getting shot at from highway overpasses and I can remember being so worried that my dad was going to get hurt doing his job.

But really I just always thought he did a cool job. He was never one of those dads who dressed up in a suit and tie every day to go to work. He got to wear blue jeans with rolled up packs of cigarettes in his T-shirt and eat cheeseburgers at Truck Stops (a.k.a. Choke ‘N Puke) and had a CB Radio with a handle. In case you’re interested, his CB handle was Hi-Ho Silva and mine was Little Beaver. I’m not kidding.

Here’s a bit of background on the movie before I get into the details of the plot. It was filmed in 36 days and cost $4.5 million to make. Smokey and the Bandit was released in 1977 and was the 2nd highest domestic grossing movie of the year earning over $200 million in US and Canada alone. (In case your curious, the #1 movie was a little film called Star Wars).

The plot is pretty simple: Bo ‘Bandit’ Darville (Burt Reynolds) takes on a bet from Big Eanus Burdette (Pat McCormick) and his son Little Eanus (Paul Williams) that he can drive from Georgia to Texas and back in 28 hours with a tractor trailer full of Coors beer (400 cases to be exact) within 28 hours.Bandit gets a whole bunch of cash from Big Eanus to buy a gorgeous Trans-Am so he can use this fast car as a blocker on the highway, but has to convince his best friend Cledus Snow (a.k.a. Snowman) to drive the truck. It doesn’t take much convincing and with his Basset Hound Fred in tow, they’re off with the clock running.

Along the way, the Bandit picks up a stranded bride named Carrie (Sally Field). It seems Carrie just left her husband-to-be at the altar and who just happens to be the son of Buford T. Justice (Jackie Gleason) who quickly becomes in hot pursuit of the Bandit. Carrie and Bo…hmmm….sounds like our finalists in our American Idol competition. Weird.

Everyone loves the Bandit and I have to say that Burt Reynolds must have been having the time of his life playing him. Smokey and the Bandit is the movie you have to watch to understand why women found him so sexy and why everyone loved this movie back in the 70’s. He spent most of the movie just driving the Trans-Am making jumps over ponds and crashing up cars, but it was his playful banter with Carrie and his cat-and-mouse chase with the sheriff that just makes this movie work.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on this movie. I discovered that Jackie Gleason received hardly any money to be in the movie, but wanted to do it only if he could play the character of the sheriff in his own unique way. He created his signature phrase, “SumBitch” especially for the movie and ad-libbed his entire part from beginning to end. I seriously doubt the movie would have been so popular had it not been for him playing the cantankerous sheriff.

There are some really, really funny lines in this movie that made me laugh out loud. Considering that I saw this back in 1977 when I was seven years old, most of the catchy dialogue must have went right over my head. Such as when a fellow trucker called The Silver Tongued Devil says to Bandit, “Keep your wheels spinning and your beavers grinning” or after Bandit has just used a broken bridge to jump a river. Carrie says, “That was great! I want to jump something else! I want to jump a car, or a house, anything!” to which Bandit replies (still shaking) “Then jump me!” Classic!! [Click here to read more classic quotes]

Since the film did so well, the producers went on to make the sequel in 1980 and then the last of the trilogy Smokey and the Bandit Part 3 in 1983. I’m definitely going to rent them so I can see if these sequels ended up standing the test of time as much as the original.

If my experience watching Smokey and the Bandit means anything, you should think about one of your favorite movies back when you were a little kid and watch it again. Nostalgia can prove interesting because it reminds you of where you’ve come from. Back in the day, people smoked all the time in movies, calls were made on payphones not cell phones and romance was a deep, meaningful kiss between the stars rather than the soft porn it’s turned into today.

Goonies, anyone?

Sign(s) of the Times June 23, 2005

Karen and I watched the James Brooks movie Spanglish last night together. The movie explores a multitude of relationships, but the overall joke is how the Spanish-speaking mother struggles to learn English over the course of the movie.

Karen began telling me how her niece Rebecca LOVES the cartoon Dora the Explorer. Apparently the little girl is getting pretty adept at speaking Spanish just from watching cartoons. We both laughed and said these cartoons should have been around when I was growing up and I would have never failed Spanish class. Things are so much better now. If I had Bob the Builder as a kid, my house would be so much nicer because I would know how to use all those tools in my garage collecting dust.

And what’s up with the ice cream truck merrily rolling though my neighborhood each night at 6:30 with the annoying “Hello!” jingle? I never had that luxury when I was a kid. If I wanted a popsicle or an ice cream, I had to open up the freezer or wait to be taken to Friendlys for a special treat. I never just had it delivered right to my front door with such occasion.

These days kids have it too good and I feel like such an old person for saying it. They learn sign language in daycare so they can demand a cookie, can speak Spanish by the age of three from cartoons and expect cell phones by the fifth grade for their growing social web. The only way I could communicate in elementary school was to figure out how to fold those maddening origami- type things to ask questions if a boy liked me and depending on how many snaps of the paper, well–you get the picture. Today it’s all about text messaging and ring-tones.

As Dora might say by the time she reaches the tender age of 35, “Soy tan viejo“

50 Cent Incensed! May 31, 2005

I went to see Madagascar this past Friday at The Solomon Pond Mall with two friends. Aside from the brilliance of this animated feature, there was one teeny tiny snag before the movie. The cashier tried to rip me off by 50 cents.

The movie cost $9.50. He asked me if I wanted to donate a dollar to some cancer charity and I said politely, “No thank you.” I pass under the plexi-glass window a $20 bill and he asks if I have 5o cents. I dig around into my wallet and pass him 50 cents figuring he wanted to just give me back an even $11.00. Instead, much to my confusion, he slides a die-cut cardboard star at me asking me to fill in my name like I just donated a buck to the cancer charity. “What’s this?” I ask him confused because I clearly said that I didn’t want to donate.

So he actually says to me, “Well, you already gave me 50 cents–for another 50 cents you can donate to charity” or some nonsense like that. What part of NO didn’t this boy understand?! I looked up at him and said once again, “I want my change back. I don’t want to donate anything.” You can guess what happened next.

The boy tightens his lips into a smirk like I’m the biggest asshole-bitchola he’s ever met and can’t believe I’m making a fuss over 50 cents. So he slides me back the $11 and moves on to my friend Stephanie who was waiting behind me. And here’s the funny thing. She said she didn’t want to donate, but somehow got ripped off by 50 cents as well! I know the cashier can’t be working on a commission, but what’s up with that?

It took me a good ten minutes to calm down from this incident. I hate businesses who use their captive audience, which would be me the customer, to peddle for charitable donations. And when you say ‘No thank you’ inevitably you get nasty looks and attitude. In the case of Regal Cinemas, you would think they would donate a portion of the $9.50 ticket price to their selected charity instead of tryng to get me to donate extra money while I’m buying admission to an already overpriced movie. And don’t get me started on the cost of a small popcorn, but I could get the bigger size if I just spent an extra twenty-five cents.