Limited Editions June 12, 2007

I love Limited Edition candy. I like to think that I was way ahead of the whole Dark Chocolate trend because I bought bags and bags of Dark Chocolate M and M’s all the way back to May 2005 with the premiere of Star Wars: Phantom Menace when they were still in their limited edition phase.

But where does it end? When do the candy makers just give up because they’ve invented every combination possible? For example: I’m a huge Skittles fan and have tried every concoction they’ve dished out, but Mars went a little too far with the Carnival flavor.

So when I came across this blog post from Cotton and Sand bemoaning the very same thing, I just had to share their invented images of limited edition candy concepts. Believe me when I say that all you need to do is print out these pictures, pin them up in your cubicle and you’ll curb your desire for a quick energy pick-me-up at 3pm in the afternoon.

It’s all Apples and Oranges for me now:

Bite Sized Mold May 24, 2007

The LOST season finale was on last night at 9pm. I made plans with my friend Karen to come over to my house so we could watch it together. She showed up around 8:30pm in her post-workout Jazzercise gear and we were hanging out in the kitchen catching up before our favorite TV show began.She commented on how many 100-calorie snacks I had on my counter-tops. Ever since I began my diet back in February, I’ve become the queen of 100 calorie snacks. Love them! She happened to see my three boxes of the new Hostess 100 calorie Cup Cakes and decided to try to Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese filling variety. I really wasn’t paying too much attention because I was rooting around in my Lazy-Susan trying to find alcohol. (I recently received a recipe to make some sort of fancy ‘Crocodile’ mixed-drink that involved Midori, Lemon Juice, Vodka and Triple Sec) I thought it would be a fun way to kick off the season finale since we both like Midori.

As I was opening cabinets to find fancy glasses, Karen told me that the cupcakes really didn’t taste that good for 100 calories.

But as Karen popped the second cupcake in her mouth, I noticed a slight tinge to the frosting. I grabbed the package containing the last remaining cupcake and exclaimed, “Don’t eat anymore! It’s all moldy.” Karen pulled a face and we both ended up laughing so hard after she swallowed the last bite. I showed her the green fuzz and we both got appropriately grossed out.

But I was very surprised. Don’t Twinkies and the like last for decades? I would have assumed a Hostess cup cake would do the same, but then I realized the fuzz was all over the cream cheese frosting. I quickly inspected the other remaining varieties on my counter: chocolate cake with chocolate icing and golden cake with chocolate icing—both perfectly fine.

I’m not a person who is aware of expiration dates. A gallon of milk is really the only consumable in my fridge that catches my attention every day when I prepare my cup of morning coffee. I can’t tell you how many dozens of eggs or tubs of Cool Whip that have found a home in my trash months after their expiration date. I’ve also learned not to let myself get fooled into taking advantage of seemingly amazing sales for 20 cups of yogurt for five bucks because they too have expiration dates. Who knew? I thought those little tubs of yogurt had bacteria in them already-why would they expire?

Expiration dates are everywhere. Cans of Pepsi, bags of pre-packaged Dole salads and even medicines in your bathroom. The two moldy reduced calorie cupcakes Karen ate hopefully won’t make her too sick, but at least she was eating healthy.

Dusting Myself Off February 2, 2007

I joined Weight Watchers At Work for a 17-week program that will teach me portion control and encourage a healthy lifestyle. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried Weight Watchers. I joined the program once before in my last job, but it didn’t work out and here’s my excuse: the gaggle of women always talking about acquiring KASHI in our weekly meetings.

I became so sick of hearing about Kashi products and where to buy them. They talked about Kashi non-stop. It was their obsession. I never really learned helpful tips like what to do when faced with the choice of buying a 75% post-holiday marked-down bag of M & M’s vs. a bag of oranges.

But this time it’s going to work and it’s all about my embracing attitude of better health and my supportive co-workers. In fact, one of my co-workers Jillian suffers from Celiac Disease which means that all her foods must be gluten free and she’s joined Weight Watchers with me. She loathes fruits and vegetables. She hearts chocolate. She has chocolate for breakfast. lunch and dinner. I’m seriously not kidding. She has an amazing tolerance for chocolate and an amazing biological sensitivity to wheat products.

Day 2 hasn’t gone well for Jillian. I was shopping in Target tonight when I received the following text message:

F this points thing – I wanna eat my cat!

That just about sums up how we’re doing on the diet right now.

Butter Boy June 23, 2006

Butter Boy is a great invention. You place a 1/2 stick of butter into him and it makes it easier to slather the butter onto your ear of corn. Plus it’s kinda cute! Available to purchase at PlumParty.com.

Happy 2nd Day of Summer, y’all!

Twinkie Cookbook June 4, 2006

Here’s a tip: If you’re ever having a bad day and you can’t seem to pull yourself out of it, say the word ‘Twinkie’ five times in a row and I guarantee you a smile.

Let’s try it together: Twinkie-Twinkie-Twinkie-Twinkie-Twinkie
There.
Feel better?

Now if you really want to sustain the smile, you should go out an purchase The Twinkies Cookbook. The name alone should inspire the kid in you. Forget peanut butter and jelly, forget the fluff and don’t worry about the mess. This cookbook will change your life.

Check out page 10 which gets the party started by providing a recipe for Twinkie Sushi. It’s very imaginative. I was going to make these for one of the guys that I work with for his birthday because he loves all things sushi, but one of the ingredients kind of scared me: 4 pieces green fruit leather, sliced into 1-inch wide strips. Hmmm. Would a fruit roll-up count as fruit leather? What the heck is fruit leather? But I digress…

I’ve never eaten a fried Twinkie or for that matter a chocolate Twinkie. But this book gives you all kinds of recipes including smoothies you can make with Twinkies and even Twinkie Lasagna. Garfield would pass out if he got a load of this gooey goodness.

I’m no cook, but I can tell you that sitting on my kitchen counter right now is a box of Twinkies. After thumbing through the cookbook, Spencer hit the local Target and bought us a box. I can’t remember the last time a box of any Hostess product was actually in my house. (Somehow just having a box of Twinkies announces to the world that you’ve given up any hope of healthy eating. )

Contrary to popular belief, Twinkies don’t last forever. The book says the shelf life is 25 days. I suspect I’ve had some food groups last longer than that in my fridge since I rarely cook. But I’m the sort of girl who gets real inspired by beautiful cookbook pictures and lists of common ingredients that tease me into believing that even I could cook. We’ll see.

20 days and counting….

Sounds Like… May 27, 2006

I was on vacation this week and purposefully took a break from my mother. We didn’t get together this past Tuesday, but guilt got the better of me and I picked her up Friday night for an evening out. I figured she could use an airing from being in the nursing home all week.

She reminded me that her wedding anniversary was coming up (May 31st) and told me, “You don’t have to take me out to dinner if you don’t want to.” When my father died suddenly in 1998, I stopped counting their wedding anniversary because it’s not like he’s here to celebrate it anymore. Why must I be so practical?

When I picked her up, she surprisingly had three choices to provide for restaurants she might like to visit for dinner: Pub 99, Barbers Crossing in Sterling or The Webster House. Considering we hadn’t been to The Webster House in quite sometime, I decided this was the best choice.

When we arrived around 8pm, the parking lot was pretty lean and I was happily able to get the closest handicap parking spot right near the door. I was very pleased. When we were seated, I noticed there was a man over in the corner near our booth playing an acoustic set. My mother’s back was to him so she couldn’t see him. As he was singing “Starry, Starry Night“, my mother leaned forward and asked me, “Is he gay? He sounds gay.” Unbelievable. I don’t quite know how a man singing could register on my mother’s gaydar, but there was the question.

He continued to sing and during a particular high warble my mother again leaned forward and said to me, “He sounds like a cat in heat.” Oh, dear. I was mortified that she said it so loudly, but more so because the woman sitting at the booth next to us obviously knew the singer and was enjoying the show. I hoped she hadn’t heard my mother. If she had heard her, she had enough tact to ignore us and not be openly offended by my mother’s proclamation.

I tried to engage my mother in light conversation so she wouldn’t focus on the singer, but eventually nothing I was saying mattered because the singer was now performing Billy Joel’s “New York State of Mind” which is one of my mother’s favorite songs. “It doesn’t sound anything like him. Whose he kidding?” my mother blustered at me while sipping her coffee. “It’s not supposed to sound exact. It’s his interpretation of the song.” I countered. “Well, he sucks.” she replied matter-of-factly and there was nothing more for me to say.

The singer ended his set, walked over to hug a warm hello to the lady sitting in the next booth and I managed to make warm eye contact with him saying, “Very nice set.” My mother just glared at me.

And this little experience at The Webster House is why taking my mother out of the nursing home oftentimes turns into an occasion that I need a break from. Too bad vacations are so infrequent.

Neapolitan Dynamite February 24, 2006

Opened up my email today and received word from my sister-in-law Katie that Ben & Jerry’s just announced a new flavor in honor of one of my favorite movies of all time-Napoleon Dynamite. Dare I pump my fist in the air and exclaim with great enthusiasm, “SWEET!”

If you’re wondering what they mixed together it’s Cherry Garcia with Chocolate Fudge Brownie. But seriously–who cares what it is? It’s freakin’ Napoleon Dynamite ice cream.

But wait–there’s more new flavors to rave about and you all know how excited I get over new stuff.

They also have Vermonty Python (coffee liqueur ice cream with a chocolate cookie crumb swirl and fudge cows) and Turtle Soup (vanilla ice cream with fudge & caramel cashews with a caramel swirl).

Both Katie and I previously signed up for Chunk Mail from Ben & Jerry’s which is basically a monthly newsletter that gives you advance notice that new flavors are coming. You might as well give up on the diet because there’s no way any ice cream lover can resist their inventive genius. Click Here if you’d like to sign up. Oh! They send you a coupon for a free pint of ice cream, too. Can you say crack addict or is it just guerilla marketing?

So that’s my excitement for the day. I’ll be roaming the frozen food section looking for my fix.

Two Buck Chuck January 13, 2006

Tomorrow is indeed a special day for me, but it’s not because it’s my 36th birthday. My co-workers are taking me out to lunch to celebrate my birthday at Ruby Tuesdays and we’re topping it off with a Two Buck Chuck run to Trader Joe’s.

‘Course they are quickly finding out that I must have been living in a cave all these years because I didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about. I know they picked the restaurant because there was a Trader Joe’s next to it. They patiently explained to me that Charles Shaw wine is exclusively sold at Trader Joe’s and the wine tastes really, really good. Some of them were just baffled that I had never heard of a Two Buck Chuck.

Have you?

Now I’m no drinker. If you opened up my cabinet, you’d see a big bottle of Midori and a newly acquired bottle of Anisette (Thank You Katie!!) along with a large bottle of Parrot Bay rum. That’s about it. I don’t like beer or champagne. I stick to what I know and wine is too complicated. I get weary of bottles that I can’t just screw off or flip off with a bottle opener. Cork Screw? Forget it. I don’t even think I own one of ‘em. So I’m going to have to add one of those to my shopping cart tomorrow.

My co-workers tell me that it’s not uncommon to just go into Trader Joe’s and buy a whole case for $35.99. That’s a boat load of wine for someone like me who gets a buzz-on from a wine cooler. I’m the kind of drinker that looks for the rebates on a 4-pack of Bartle and James….pathetic, I know.

In fact, to further drive home their suspicion that I’ve lived in a cave all these 36 years–did you know that a Roy Roger was the ‘boy’ version of a Shirley Temple? Seriously…who knew? I tried to defend myself by telling them that being an only child didn’t allow for many social outings with boys who would want the masculine version of my ginger ale with grenadine juice.

But here’s the thing. I made a mini-resolution that this would be the year for me to try new things and imagine possibilities…I think this Two Buck Chuck run is a great way for me to start off my 36th year.

Next on the agenda…my first hangover from a cheap bottle of Chuck.

I Did Deserve A Break Today! October 7, 2005

My pal Rich and I went to McDonalds this afternoon for lunch. I haven’t been to McDonalds in quite awhile so today was really both a fast food treat as well as a pleasant surprise. Did everyone out there realize that McDonalds has gotten a much needed makeover except me? I don’t know if I have Super Size Me Morgan Spurlock to thank for this, but I suspect his little documentary had something to do with it.

I ordered a Number 2 (Quarter Pounder with Cheese, Large Fries and Large Coke) for $5.13. Before I was able to zip up my purse my order was ready. Jeez that was fast.

In my opinion, the whole notion of fast food these past few years has really taken a nose dive. Fast Food convenience had turned into the quickest way to be irritated rather than serviced whenever I ordered McDonalds food. What was once a simple cheeseburger and fries turned into a five minute wait during the checkout coupled with long lines of people waiting on the sidelines for their own orders. Not anymore. I simply couldn’t believe how fast my food was ready.

As we were standing there, Rich happened to notice they had a makeover of sorts at this location because our usual section off to the left was moved around since the booths were facing out into the ordering area instead of away from it.

After he got his two plain hamburgers and super-sized fries/drink, we really started to get excited because this location now just gives you an empty cup that you get to fill up with the beverage of your choice. AND they had those little ketchup pumps with the pill-size paper cups to put the ketchup in AND more sauce choices than you can shake a stick at: Honey Mustard and BBQ to name just two.

F-A-N-C-Y

We sat down in the newly furnished section and began giggling because we could have sat down at their little rounded bistro table with the bar stools over near the bathrooms. Talk about Puttin’ On The Ritz!! Aside from the new paintings on the wall with the trendy splashes of paint and the decorative lighting above us, most people still go to McDonalds for the food.

My Quarter Pounder with Cheese was packaged in a bio-degradable box and honest to god I nearly passed out in shock when I removed the sandwich to hold it up to Rich for his inspection. Remember the old days when you’d compare the size of your cheeseburger to the size of a burger in a McDonalds tv ad? There simply wasn’t any comparison. Whatever burger you were eating was consistently a shell of its advertised self. But not anymore. My Quarter Pounder with Cheese was made to perfection. It was picture perfect. Gosh, even the slices of onions sprayed on top of my cheeseburger looked like they were freshly sliced and diced moments before.

There’s not much to say about Rich’s two plain hamburgers except that he got just what he ordered: two sesame seed buns and two all beef patties – no lettuce, no pickles, no cheese, no mustard, no ketchup and certainly no special sauce, tomatoes and onions. Nothing more and nothing less. But I can’t tell you how many times he’s gone to order such a simple burger only to get unwanted surprises when he cracked open the bun. And between you and I, my friend Rich is a bit strange when it comes to condiments touching his hamburger. He won’t put up with it and puts new meaning to being considered a finicky eater.

Not only was the food tremendous, but I noticed their latest Monopoly promotion with the peel-off pieces was in full effect again. But here’s the best thing about it. I actually saw at this location a little section near the straws and napkins where you could get the folded-up game board for your Monopoly pieces. How many times in the past have I gotten these annoying little game pieces only to toss them away when I didn’t win a small fry? Talk about attention to detail.

If you’ve been a really healthy little eater and have dutifully stayed away from McDonalds…might I offer up the suggestion of revisiting a location today? Have the salad with the pine nuts and the low fat dressing if you really want to continue your healthy eating habits.

It’s OK. But run to McDonalds because I’ll guarantee you’ll leave thinking to yourself:

“My God. Look what they’ve done with the place.”

 

Starbucks Maple Latte Review October 7, 2005

I met my friend Mark at Starbucks in Southborough this morning for some coffee talk before work. (We really were meeting so he could get the last episode of LOST I taped for him from my DVD because he fell asleep Wednesday night at 11:30 when it was on later because
of the hated Red Sox baseball game.) He was given specific instructions to order me a Grande Pumpkin Spice Latte with whipped cream.Upon arriving five minutes late, there he was standing in line unshaven in
an old Hanes t-shirt about five people deep waiting to place our order. He
greeted me and asked if I had tried their new Maple Latte because his son
Zach thought I should try it. Mmmmm….Maple Latte. Sure-sign me up for a
drink of that.

The young kid running the front end was simply amazing. He was ON! He was
in total command of the ordering area. He seemed to know every single
person by name and was confidently calling out orders while madly scribbling
on coffee cups and continuing to take orders from the next person in the
queue. In fact, he was so loud and happy doing his thang that when Mark was
trying to tell me something, it was all I could do to pay attention to him
because the snappy young man kept rolling over our conversation with
background shout-outs and hellos to approaching customers in line. This kid
had his flair on in a big way.

We eventually got our drinks and took a table to enjoy our drinks. The only
highlight aside from the good conversation between two friends was Mark’s
observation of a man wearing black cowboy boots: “Oooh, cowboy boots in
New England.” They were nice boots, but the man was wearing a burgundy
sweater while my companion was wearing flip-flops and shorts. Only in New
England.

Here is my succinct review of their new Maple Latte: It tasted like a
blended pancake.

It wasn’t terrible, but I should have went with my original choice of
Pumpkin Spice. The Maple Latte left an after-taste in my mouth, sort of
like what you would imagine burnt maple syrup might taste like if you left
it on the burner too long.

I think I’ll hold out for their infamous Eggnog Latte. Mmmmm…Eggnog
latte. Let It Snow and all that happy crap. Bring on the deliciousness.